Husband of One Wife?

In most of the churches I have attended, from growing up in my home church on through the churches I have had the privilege to minister, the concern of the "husband of one wife" phrase in 1st Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:6 has been consistent. What is the church to do with such an instruction? Paul lists this phrase among other qualifications for both an elder (bishop, pastor, overseer) and deacon. Typically, conservative Baptist churches, in what I think is an honest attempt to rightly interpret Scripture, have reached an erroneous conclusion. That conclusion is that Paul is referring to need of a man to have never been divorced, and therefore is the husband of "one wife."

The first, and I think strongest, argument for the need of a different interpretation is that Paul's qualifications listed for elders and deacons are all related to the man's spiritual walk. Read the Scripture reference below and notice how all the attributes listed are concerning a present moral qualification.

"Now a bishop must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, dignified, hospitable, an apt teacher, no drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and no lover of money. He must manage his own household well, keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way."

Paul does not say that a bishop must "never have been above reproach, temperate, etc." Such a statement would go against Paul's own theology of total depravity. Rather, Paul is clearly concerned with the current status of the candidate's spiritual position. To think that among these important, present day qualifications Paul would suggest that a man should never have divorced in days of yesteryear just does not make sense. Besides, if Paul was going to use past sins as a test for the qualification of a bishop or deacon, surely he would have emphasized something more directly related to the task at hand than being divorced, such as temper, hate, dignity, etc.

I am certainly not suggesting that divorce is not a sin. Scripture is clear on that matter. But, it seems that the church is oddly dedicated to "enforce" the divorce interpretation while at the same time turning a blind eye to the other issues, especially the quarrelsome and temperate qualifications. How many elders or deacons would find themselves vanquished from the board of service if the church placed the same rigidity on these other attributes as they do the divorce thing. My hunch is that the divorce angle is easy. Is is an objective rule that is easy to announce from the outset, so everyone knows upfront. It is quite a difficult task, and work, for the church to honestly assess the current spiritual walk of potential candidates and inform them of why they are not qualified to be a deacon or elder.

So what does the phrase mean? I think one of two options is a good possibility. First, the phrase might mean a man who does not presently have more than one wife. We call that polygamy. This interpretation fits nicely with the theme addresses above, that Paul is discussing the current status of men. The problem is that by the first century AD, polygamy was not practiced near as much as it once was. That notwithstanding, there are still accounts, especially among the Jews, of this kind of lifestyle. Josephus, the great Jewish historian, says, "For it is an ancestral custom of ours to have several wives at the same time."

A second possibility, and one that I am growing fonder of, is that Paul's phrase "husband of one wife" is an idiomatic usage, meaning a faithful manager of his family. Under the deacon qualifications in 1st Timothy 3:8-13, the phrase "husband of one wife" is immediately followed by "let them manage their children and their households well."

Perhaps the most important concept in this kind of study is that the church not become lackadaisical in their understanding of Scripture and hardcore in their clench of tradition. A change in interpretation and by-laws of a church does not happen overnight or at a sudden floor motion at the Wednesday night business meeting. But, with thoughtful, convicted, loving pastors who are not "above reproach" or "quarrelsome", perhaps some changes can be made. For the glory of God.